A quick update :-) and no bad news for once lol

Hello lovelies :-)
I haven't written here for awhile (meant to be on a 'break'!) but a couple of things have happened since we decided to have some time off so I thought I would give you all a quick catch up on what's happening.

After the failed frozen embryo transfer my fertility specialist ordered some tests for me to get done - growth hormone, DHEA, and Iodine. Well all came back fine except DHEA. Turns out mine is a 'little bit' low.
When I first found out I was like WTF cause mostly only older women have this problem! DHEA is meant to peak in your 20's! For those of you who don't know what DHEA is, it's basically 'the mother' of all hormones. It pretty much controls all the other hormons (testerone, estrongen etc.) and has a lot to do with egg quality and quantity. Which is why as you get older these things tend to decrease because there isn't as much DHEA being produced.
Anyway, after doing lots of research I'm not too concerned. My specialist has given me a DHEA supplement and put me on the lowest dose (25mg twice a day). I think she may just be covering all bases, and if it's going to improve the quality of my eggs then I'm not complaining! I also found out that DHEA can decrease due to stress so I think that may have something to do with it being slightly low...pretty sure I have been under tremendous stress the last few months!
The DHEA pills have some pretty cool side effects...such a increased libido ;-) (Andrew liked that one lol) but also some scary ones like giving me bad skin!! ahhh!! But it's all for the greater good... :-) I haven't experienced anything yet so lets hope it stays that way!
I've also decided to start taking Royal Jelly (good for fertility, it's what the Queen bee has to make lots baby bees!), coQ10, vitamin C and have two doses of fish oil a day plus my pregnancy vitamin...and I am eating super healthy, so let's hope all this pill popping contributes to a good outcome!

In other news, Andrew another semen analysis done, and for once it wasn't bad news!
His count has gone up to 8.8 million (for our fresh cycle it was only 2.2 mil, should be 20 million minimum)
Motility which is how the sperm moves is 64% (fresh cycle it was 52%, should be 40% minimum)
Morphology which is how the sperm looks was 10% (fresh cycle it was 6%, should be 15% minimum).
As you can see, all his numbers have increased since September which is AWESOME! Unfortunately the the count and morphology aren't where they need to be yet, and his sperm still has antibodies but I don't think they ever go away, but at least it hasn't decreased again which was our worst fear.
Looks like all his hard work is paying off and the vitamins and healthy eating are working for him! It's been exactly one year since he first got tested, and the numbers were far lower than this to start with....so it's taken awhile but he is getting there :-) Hopefully things will continue to improve over time and maybe the count and morphology will one day be where they need to be, if not higher!

Well, that's all there really is to report. We go and see my specialist next Tuesday just to discuss things and let her know when we will be starting up again. At this stage it looks like February. This could possibly mean I'll be cycling without Andrew as he leaves for the army sometime in Feb (still waiting on dates) but I am prepared to do it and I know I will be ok, I still have my family to help me through it all!
I want to give the DHEA a couple of months to take effect before starting again, and this month hasn't exactly been 'stress free' cause we were still getting over the last cycle, but hopefully January will be a nice rest :-) And I'll continue acupuncture in the meantime so it at least feels as though I'm doing SOMETHING, not just sitting around wasting time!

Before I go I just want to share this poem with you all, it really touched me, cried for ages after reading it! Been thinking about our little angel lots lately...I don't think there will ever be a day that I won't think about them. Anyway, enjoy :-) and take care everyone! xoxox

I thought of you and closed my eyes

And prayed to God today.

I asked what makes a Mother

And I know I heard him say…

A mother has a baby

This we know is true.

But, God, can you be a mother

when your baby is not with you?

Yes, you can He replied,

With confidence in His voice.

I give many women babies

When they leave is not their choice.

Some I send for a lifetime,

And others just for a day.

And some I send to feel your womb,

But there’s no need to stay.

I just don’t understand this God,

I want my baby here.

He took a breath and cleared His throat

And then I saw a tear.

I wish I could show you

What your child is doing today.

If you could see your child smile

With other children and say:

“We go to earth to learn our lessons

Of love and life and fear.

My mommy loved me oh so much

I got to come straight here.

I feel so lucky to have a mom

Who has so much love for me.

I learned my lessons very quickly,

My mommy set me free.

I miss my mommy Oh so much,

But I visit every day.

When she goes to sleep

On her pillow is where I lay.

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek

And I whisper in her ear.

Mommy don’t be sad today,

I’m your baby and I’m here.”

So, you see my dear sweet one,

Your children are not blue.

Your babies are here in MY home,

They’ll be at Heaven’s gate waiting for you.

So now you see what makes a mother,

It’s the feeling in your heart.

It’s the love you had so much of,

Right from the very start.

Though some on earth may not realize you are a mother,

Until their time is done.

They’ll be up here with Me one day,

And they’ll know you were the best one!